If you’re like most parents, you long to raise your children as pirates but just don’t know how. In the Guide to Pirate Parenting, Cap’n Billy “The Butcher” MacDougall provides everything you need to know to turn your little powder monkeys into happy, healthy buccaneers. You’ll learn:

• At what age your child should be able to remove a bottle cap by taking out his glass eye and using his eye
• Which offense requires administering The Flying Dutchman Wedgie
• How to prevent sogging the quartermaster
• The best place to maroon your disobedient child
• How to remove chewing gum or a giant octopus from your child’s hair
• The difference between plundering and pillaging
• How to convert your minivan into a pirate schooner
• When to smack your teenager in the side of the head with an oar

And best of all each information-packed section of the Guide to Pirate Parenting ends with “Your pirate’s progress,” a short quiz that shows whether your child is reaching his or her pirate development milestones.

[Guide to Pirate Parenting]

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